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Ok, bros:

I feel your excitement. The primary season is picking up steam. Bernie is rolling towards a commanding win in New Hampshire, he’s gaining in national polls, he’s even gaining strength in Hillary’s firewall state of South Carolina. How can this not get to our heads sometime? So you take to Twitter or Facebook, you see something from a Hillary supporter, your emotions get to you and… something unfortunate happens.

Let’s avoid that! Here is my handy-dandy guide on which arguments actually help Sen. Sanders, and which have the, uh, opposite effect.


  • Bernie is the most decent person running, on either side. His favorability ratings prove it. Even Hillary backers… hell, even Republicans, are forced to admit he’s a good guy (if a misguided Socialist, in their view). Meanwhile, “moral compromise” is the family slogan for the Clintons.
  • He’s a real-deal liberal, where Clinton is a moderate. Both sides agree with this. But isn’t time we have a serious lefty in office? We haven’t had one since Carter, and we haven’t had a competent one since Truman.
  • The miscreants Hillary chooses to surround herself with. Even Rachel Maddow had to hesitantly point out how this is a vulnerability. From the oleaginous Sid Blumenthal, to the soulless Lanny Davis, to the sniveling toady David Brock, to the reptilian Huma Abedin. Do you really want these people as senior White House personnel? You can judge a person by who they choose as associates, and Hillary’s bootlicks are almost as odious as Donald Trump’s.
  • Hillary is a war hawk, more so than even any Republican who has a shot at the nomination. Sanders admittedly does not have a whole lot of interest in foreign affairs, but he does have an ace card in the most important foreign-policy decision of recent history. He voted against Bush and Cheney’s war of aggression in Iraq. Clinton voted for it.
  • It’s not talked about much, but Sanders would be the first Jewish president ever. I’m not saying that’s important as first female president. But shouldn’t that count for something? Especially when the current Republican frontrunner surrounds himself with anti-Semitic white supremacists?
  • Hillary and Goldman Sachs; Hillary demanding stiff speaker’s fees from universities that are hiking tuition; Hillary lavishing praise on Henry Kissinger. Meanwhile, you may accuse Bernie of many things, but “selling out” is not one of those things.
  • Bernie is the choice of young people, what the media calls “Millennials.” Hillary is the choice of the Boomers. ‘Nuff said.


  • Hillary just votes her gender.
  • Hillary’s backers are just voting their gender.
  • General-election voters could never elect a woman.
  • Being a woman is actually easier in life than being a man.
  • Hillary only married her way to the top.
  • Hillary had to ride her husband’s coattails to success.
  • Hillary is just a puppet of her husband.
  • All female leaders are just a puppet of a man.
  • There has never been a competent female leader in history.
  • Basically, any mansplaining, neckbearding, misogynist bullshit. If you’re really into that shit, you’re in the wrong party to begin with.

Happy to help.